Every weekday morning, Marblehead Patch provides our readers with a bulleted list of the entries included in the Marblehead Police Department's log from the day before.
Over the last 12 months, we have published some truly bizarre entries.
Here are our picks for 2012's most bizarre police log entries:
A Washington Street woman Street woman called police to report that when she went out to her car she found that the tires and rims were stolen and it was sitting on cinder blocks.
Assault by means of cuckoo clock.
Police responded to Harris Street for a report of a fight in progress. Kathleen M. Mattarese, 54, of 40 Devereux St., Marblehead, was arrested on charges of assault and battery and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon (cuckoo clock).
Your move, Mercedes.
Police received a call about a turkey in the roadway at Puritan Road and West Shore Drive. The caller told police "a 4' tall turkey was having a face off with a Mercedes." The caller told police the Mercedes backed up and went around the bird but another car would probably hit it.
Police received a 9-1-1 hang up from a home on Humphrey Street. When police called back a woman apologized and said a baby had accidentally dialed the numbers.
A man on a mission for a midnight snack.
A High Street woman called police to report that she could hear "someone in her house" and she heard them "open the refrigerator door." While on the line with police the woman reportedly found it was her husband. (This entry was later featured on The Ellen Degeneres Show)
A ticket was issued to a local teen for operating to endanger. Police reportedly saw a kid riding on the hood of a car while the driver was doing donuts on Ocean Avenue. The kids' parents were notified and called in to pick them up.
Either a dead dog - or a prostitute.
A Pleasant Street woman called police to report "a smell of death" on the second floor landing of her apartment building that she thought was either a "dead dog or a prostitute buried under the house." Local fire and police units checked the building and found the odor was a "moldy-sewage" odor "wafting up the stairwell" from the basement..
Police received two 911 calls from a home on Pleasant Street and all they could hear were numbers being pressed. Responding officers were told the "cat did it."
A Marblehead woman called police to report that her 23-year-old son was "destroying the house." Responding officers reported that the man "jumped out of a window and took off" with a sword. Police later located and secured the sword. The man was reportedly taken into custody and transported by ambulance to Salem Hospital.
Police received word that there was "a completely naked woman" being photographed by a man on Ocean Avenue. Police questioned a group nearby but found that they weren't involved in the incident. Officers were unable to locate anyone matching the description given.
Fido has places to be and people to see.
Police received a complaint from a resident on School Street that a dog inside of a white 2000 Infiniti QX4 kept "stepping on and beeping the horn." Although police were initially unable to contact the dog's owner, they later found that she was getting her hair done at a nearby salon and had left her dog in the car.
A Lafayette Street woman called police to report that her 9-year-old daughter was being defiant. The woman said her daughter was "outside on the street corner with a sign trying to get money from strangers."
A Harbor Avenue woman called police to report that "someone moved her car overnight." The woman said she spoke with her son who said he did not move her 2005 Saturn Relay. The woman said the keys were now missing.
A Ruby Avenue resident called police to report that a man was stumbling around outside, possibly wearing a wig. Police searched the area and were unable to locate anyone matching that description.
A rocket launch permit was granted by police for a rocket launch behind Village School.
Just taking the John Deere to geometry.
Police responded to a report of a student threatening a teacher at Marblehead High School. A responding officer determined the event was a "school issue" and the student was given detention for reportedly "riding a lawn mower in the hallway."
A man walking to work near the intersection of Pleasant and Devereux streets called police to report that he was "dope slapped" by a student who passed him on a skateboard.
How long am I supposed to wait?
A Franklin Street resident called police to complain about a bus that had parked and was "blocking (their) view of the harbor."
A Crowninshield Road man called police to report that a "strange thing happened to him on the computer." The man said "someone gave him a link to a porn site and when he clicked on it and tried to download it the 'computer when whacko.'" The man said he received a message that came up as an FBI warning that he had been given a $100 fine. Police told the man it was likely a virus.
A Barnard Street man called police to report that he confronted a man with tattoos for being too close to his wife's parked car and the man claimed he was "trying to catch squirrels that were on the roof of the car." Police later stopped the man and determined that he was just watching the squirrels.
Police responded to a report of an "odd male" at a beach on Atlantic Avenue. The caller said a man "walked into the water fully-clothed, then crawled out of the water, tried to steal (their) bike and then ran off."
Police reportedly stopped a 1999 Toyota Camry on Atlantic Avenue and arrested the 13-year-old driver on charges of using a motor vehicle without authority, unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle and negligent operation of a motor vehicle.
Not the 'Go Slow' guy!
A Rose Avenue resident called police to report that "last night a car came racing down Rose Avenue and the occupants threw out a yellow 'Go Slow' guy."
A local woman called police to report that a "fish head was discovered on her doorstep." The woman told police she thought "it was placed there by an ex-boyfriend who keeps harassing her."
A woman called police to report that a man in his 50s, near the intersection of Elm and Green streets, reportedly verbally harassed her and then "pulled down his pants and showed his rear end" to her when she started to walk away. Although the man reportedly followed the woman after the incident, police were unable to locate him in the area.
A local peach tree picked clean.
A Rockaway Avenue man entered the police station to report that all of the peaches on his peach tree were stolen. The man said he didn't believe that local wildlife was responsible because "they've taken their share for the season." The man also told police that someone stole a baby tree from his yard earlier this summer.
Initiation involves prune juice and shuffleboard.
A Farrell Court resident entered the police station to report harassment. The resident reportedly told police that "there are elderly residents there that have formed a gang."
A Taft Street resident called police to report a "strange male hanging around by the mailboxes wearing a cape" on Green Street. Police were unable to locate the man.
Police conducted a well-being check on Atlantic Avenue. A resident reportedly called police to report that there was a "small child or infant alone on the wall crawling." Police later determined it was just Halloween decorations.
Election season can be rough.
A resident called police to report that his car was smeared with feces and toilet papered while parked behind the thrift shop on Pleasant Street. The owner told police he thought his Scott Brown and Mitt Romney bumper stickers had something to do with it.
A woman on Broughton Road called police to report that she had a "dead mouse put under her door" and then noticed "another act of vandalism." A full report was taken.
A resident entered the police station to suggest that someone build fencing around the outboard side of the causeway. The man said he felt it was a safety issue and was concerned that someone may drive over the edge.
A sweater scorched on Clifton.
Police and fire units responded to a report of a sweater on fire in the middle of the street near the intersection of Clifton Avenue and Brook Road. The shirt was later extinguished.
A woman called police to report that a drunk man was sleeping in the bushes outside of The Hurricane on Washington Street.
Police were alerted to a solicitor on Atlantic Avenue. A business owner said a man went into the store to sell cookies for "The Children's Society." The man later told police he was trying to raise money to go to culinary school and "if people give him money he gives them a cookie."
A grinch strikes in Marblehead.
A Humphrey Street resident called police to report that his light-up reindeer were stolen from his front lawn.
If you have a question about any of these log entries, please send it to Marblehead Patch.