”There’s always room for one more.” - Author unknown When a holiday falls in the middle of the week like Independence Day did this year, it’s hard to decide when to have that backyard cookout. There is so much going on locally; the arts festival, the harbor illumination, fireworks, historical reenactments. And it’s a big vacation week. So many people I knew were juggling family visits, fireworks, and festivals and it gets to be a lot of work. I am never comfortable hosting parties and such, it just doesn’t come naturally to me. I was lucky that I got invited to a cookout at a friend’s home. …

“Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.” - Charles M. Schultz I think if someone who did not know me were to look at the décor in my house (and I use the word décor in the loosest possible way) they would probably surmise that I am a fan of children’s drawings, Post-it notes, dead plants and refrigerator magnets. I also like to throw around a few Lego creations here and there for a touch of whimsy. No matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to pull together a theme for any room in my house. I have gotten way better at this decorating gig …

“A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp.” - Raymond Duncan While children love this time of year because it brings the last days of school, no more pencils, no more books, no more teacher’s dirty looks, it also brings something for parents. The camp bus. With my oldest, the first day I packed him off on the school bus for kindergarten, I was a weeping mess. At the end of that year, I signed him up for summer camp and it was a whole different story. It’s possible that I walked back from the first day of camp drop off singing “Ding, dong, Andy’s gone!”  Yes, I …

“All work is honorable.” - Colin Powell I heard this quote from a friend of mine this week and it called to mind discussions I’ve had about just what constitutes work. And is there honor in everything that we work at? My first paying job other than babysitting was at a fast food restaurant when I was 15. I wore a bad polyester uniform, ugly shoes and yes, I did have to ask “do you want fries with that?” I learned some important lessons that summer, not the least of which was that while wearing a paper hat and flipping burgers is an honest day’s work, it is hard to feel honorable when the rest…

“Things only have the value that we give them.” - Moliere I am hardly a millionaire, not even close but I have a lot of things that mean the world to me. We always say that possessions don’t really matter. People matter. Your children, your family and friends matter most. And this is true, of course. But I believe that sometimes an object can be equally precious to us as well. And it’s not always the expensive things. I love jewelry. For me, it’s an art form. There is one magazine that I subscribe to mostly because of the jewelry ads. I am fortunate to have some nice pieces that yes, are …

“Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you.” - Irving Berlin Because it’s graduation season, there are an awful lot of awards going around. I am always so happy for my friends and family members when they achieve something. A friend’s daughter graduated from high school this weekend. She did well, earned awards and recognition and yes, her family was proud. But they were also happy for their daughter’s friends and classmates. They were celebrating their daughter, not comparing her to anyone else. Parents don’t have to keep quiet when their children do well. I …

“I can't think why mothers love them. All babies do is leak at both ends.” - Douglas Feaver I have to agree. Like any mother I have had those moments when you look at your kid and say “what was I thinking?”  For me it was always late at night when they wouldn’t sleep and instead were attempting to make themselves heard. I heard them, and I bet half the neighborhood did too.  Not for nothing, it’s not age that makes you hard of hearing. It’s having an infant attempt to break the sound barrier right next to your head. Before having children I had a life, an interesting, active life. I went out …

“Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.” - Woody Allen I have no sympathy for bugs, or mice or squirrels or any of the other creatures that spring brings. It’s this time of year, when the weather gets nice that I remember why I hate nature. The windows are open and in fly the bugs. My friends with cats tell me that they get a lot more animal “gifts” on the doorstep at this time of year. And the squirrels. They are the worst. It’s personal with them and me; I think they have a vendetta against me. I didn’t grow up in the city; I know there are all kinds of …

“Words, too, have genuine substance - mass and weight and specific gravity.” - Tim O'Brien, Tomcat in Love I grew up on words that had genuine substance. Not big, long, SAT words, but rather words and phrases that had very specific meanings and connotations but only within my own family. Much of what got said around my house were things no one else would get. Or so I thought. In college, one of my best friends told me that her family collected “profundities.” Their own unique and specific names for things. For example, the little gift tags that you put on presents that say “To” and “From”. …

“It is only the ignorant who despise education.” - Publilius Syrus This is true. Growing up, my parents were as serious as a heart attack about school. My father served on the school committee long before he ever had children. My mother put herself through private Catholic high school on her babysitting money because the public schools were, in her mind, “not going to get me where I wanted to be.” She wanted more than sewing class and glee club. Her school allowed her to take biology and physics instead and when she graduated, she joined the Navy as part of a flight support crew. While …

“It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.” - John Cassis You know, at first I thought this quote was a little too trite. Then I left the house and became convinced that in much of my environment, the places I go, the people I run across, nice is in short supply. All out of nice? Yes, it’s entirely possible that the supply is dwindling to a dangerously low level. A friend joked about it once, but I think it’s happening. I thought maybe it was just here, around town. But it’s not. I know people all over the country, and they tell me the same thing. This isn’t a local issue…

“Nor need we power or splendour, Wide hall or lordly dome; The good, the true, the tender, These form the wealth of home.” - Sarah J. Hale Anyone who knows me knows how much I love to travel. I am never so happy as when I am busy planning a trip. When I’m traveling, I’m like a kid again, wanting to see all the silly tourist attractions and taking embarrassing snapshots of my kids. This past school vacation week was no exception. This year we departed from the normal amusement park/cruise ship kind of vacation and went rogue. Well for me anyway, which means we went into the wilderness, but we …

“Fears are nothing but a state of mind.” - Napoleon Hill Yes, fear is a state of mind. But sometimes, depending on what we are afraid of, it can be like Rhode Island, or it can be like Texas. Someone told me once that usually, the fear and anticipation of something, is worse than the actual situation we fear. Oh no it’s not. What about people who have that scary dream where they show up to class for a final exam and they are naked? If that actually happened to me, I guarantee you it would be worse than all the worry about a test could have been. Fear is also individual; every person …

“To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its prime function of looking forward.” - Margaret Fairless Barber Having a holiday come around definitely brings memories with it. At Christmas, every ornament I put on the tree has a story, and I tell my family each one. It takes hours to decorate our tree, and by the time we are done the kids usually have that glazed over look in their eyes and are begging to go to bed. Mission accomplished. Easter was never a huge deal when I was growing up though. We got baskets, we did a little egg hunt …

“It takes a village to raise a child” - African Proverb My kids saw this on a bumper sticker and asked me what it meant. I was a little unsure myself. I think it means that everyone in a community needs to be a part of making that community a place for children to grow, a place where kids can be safe, well educated and well cared for. So that’s what I told them. To which they said “well how do you do that?” Oh come on, Mommy has a head injury can’t we deal with something simpler? How about you ask me to tell you about the time I got kicked out of Brownies? I can do that and still lie quietly …

"Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their children than the unlived life of the parent." - Carl Jung See what I mean? Even what we don’t do as parents can screw up our kids. But it’s true. The children are not going to turn out well if we don’t buckle them up, feed them properly, teach them right from wrong and hundred other things. All of that, if left undone, will mess them up good. But this week, I decided that some parents, mostly moms, are leaving something else important undone. Taking time for ourselves. You leave that out it and it gets ugly fast. This is not another…

"There is no such thing as useless knowledge and information." - Kris Kimmel I struggle with forgetfulness. I have a smartphone, with a reminder function, and I use it all the time. It will beep on and off a few times to tell me where to be and what I have to do. I also leave Post-It notes scattered all over the house and even in my car. I still forget things, but mostly I forget where I have put things. That’s not a huge deal, everything turns up eventually. I do however have a talent for amassing and remembering seemingly useless facts. My capacity to hold all this knowledge right at the …

 “How you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win.” - G.K. Chesterton It’s all how you play the game, right? Being brave in the attempt, doing your best that is what competition should be about isn't it? Not with me. I’m new to the whole thing. I don’t have a clue about the right sports mindset. I took up badminton just over a year ago and recently started competing, just a little. I have yet to win more than a few points here or there and playing in front of people is a whole other kind torture. Getting my head in the game has been my biggest challenge. After my last…

"I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well." - Diane Ackerman There were so many “Carpe Diem” kind of quotes I had to choose from this week. Time and what we do with it was on my mind, and when I thought about what to write I had a lot to look at. Seize the day indeed. I was never quite sure exactly how I should do that. Every morning, I start by herding the children out of the house, tossing food at the dog, sucking down coffee as if my life depended on it (I’m fairly certain it does) and quite frankly …

"He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life." - Ralph Waldo Emerson I was chatting recently with a friend about fear. He was saying that as parents, our job is to teach our children to conquer fears. Most parents want their children to be active, to learn and grow. Safety first, always, but we eventually have to let go of the seat of their first two wheel bike and send them down the road, wobbly but free. Well, some parents let go. Then there are the other parents, the “helicopter” parents that  we hear so much about. I don’t think these parents are really …