As I enter the college application fray, I am frequently asked the same question. Do you think your kids will get an athletic scholarship? The process is far from over, but if anyone is asking me what I think, the answer is no. I don't think my kids or most of their friends will get an athletic scholarship. What no one asks, but what I think will happen, is that many students I know will get merit aid, a blanket term for the discretionary funds that many colleges seem to have at their disposal to reward academic performance. I am asked the athletic money question on the playing fields and …

I should open by disclosing the fact that, in general, I like the comment feature of online news. However, I am increasingly upset by the tone and anonymity of online comments. Some adults are modeling negative behavior and utter disrespect for our school officials, elected officials and others. The past week's example of a hoodie day Swampscott High School, aimed at generating discussion about a current event, brought out a string of comments that our high school aged children were likely to read. In fact in today's 24/7 online news cycle, things can be read over and over again. That's why …

Every year it is the same. There are accomplished seniors who do not get into their first choice schools. Their initial reaction is to look back on all the things they did until this point in their young lives and question. Was it worth it? Was the problem one bad grade or one bad score? Should he have taken four years of Spanish instead off three years of Latin? Did she have a typo on the application? One girl felt that her average SAT scores trumped years of hard earned accomplishments in high school. Why couldn't her first choice school see past this one thing? In time, these teens will …

Forgive me for living in a cave for the last few years because I was unaware of an extremely sweet tradition that lives on in Marblehead and many other towns. I am referring, for lack of an official name, to the "creative prom ask."  This is when a teenage boy finds a creative way to ask his date to the prom. In most cases, so many friends and siblings are involved, both male and female, that no one risks a big dose of creativity on someone who will say "no." These asks are quite public. Usually enough other people need to be involved so that there is little privacy. Friends are needed for …

In between the Facebook posts about what people are eating for dinner, Rob Gronkowski's ankle and requests for a reliable plumber, you might see a post that indicates a child is in some sort of pain.It might say something vague like, "You shouldn't hurt the ones you love." Maybe an outpouring of support will pique your curiousity. You might see posts that say, "We're with you" or "Be strong."These are obviously kids in some sort of confict, but there is usually not enough information to know the exact problem. Is it the heart? Maybe a breakup of a young romance? It might be minor. I once saw …

The internet chaos of this past week — with web sites shutting down in protest of SOPA and hackers responding in kind — made me wonder what life would be like if we had to go back to the old ways. Could the Internet become unreliable? If so, can we survive? Can any of us survive without our devices? Those of us who are old enough to remember things like typewriters might be okay, though not happy. But our children? Would they know how to dial a land line? Use a card catalogue? Does anyone under age 40 know what that is? Teens today do not even think to use land lines at home or elsewhere. …

Every now and then, a story about a mom losing it makes the national news.This week, the story was out of Salem, where a mom, so exasperated by the behavior of her five children, called the police and told them to take her teenagers.Two years ago, another such story made the rounds when a previously sane seeming mother and responsible professional dumped her 10- and 12-year-old daughters out of the car in Westchester County, N.Y. and told them to walk home three miles in the dark. Why do these stories get so much attention?I think it’s because these women made good on their threats. They …

A friend of mine once said that when her first child was born, she wanted to make sure that by the end of each day, he was stimulated by great ideas and creative play, fed nutritious, wholesome food and kissed by fresh air and sunshine. By the time the third came along, she was glad they were all alive at the end of each day. Parenthood is a never ending series of adjustments. We all have ideas of how to do it before we start, but then reality sets in and we find ourselves constantly adjusting. It may feel like a slip in standards to eat breakfast cereal for dinner, but it should be viewed as…

What do moms want for the holidays? Hint: it's not our two front teeth. We got those years ago and thankfully, haven't lost them yet. And, it’s not really chores and the mundane daily things, but those would be nice. So, feel free to pitch in more, flush toilets, put away shoes, run errands and make beds. And, feel free to do this all the time, not just for the holidays. The holiday run up is different for each family member. For many kids it means making a list of items desired from Santa, parents, grandparents. For others in the family, it's about showing up that day and sitting down to a …

Every now and then, a food trend comes along that plays to our deepest desire for an easy way out. The “fat free” movement was like a magical invention causing us to lose our collective minds. These two little words seemed to lull us all into a false sense of healthfulness. Suddenly, everyone believed it was not just harmless, but responsible to feed children large quantities of nacho chips and cookies as long as they were labeled "fat free." We all rejoiced in the collective lack of guilt. Then, along came the Lunchables. These meals featured fabulous compartmentalized plastic containers and…

A friend once told me that she paid her teenagers $5 go out to lunch with her.  She did it because it was important, she told me. And, because teens don't always want to sit and talk to their parents. I am not necessarily recommending that we pay our teens to hang out with us, but I think the premise, that we must find ways to talk to them, is valid. With teens, it is easy to fall into a constant nag trap. They are busy with school, sports, activities and their social lives.  When they come home, there is homework, dirty rooms and chores. They always need rides and money.  Even the most …

This past week, the Swampscott schools celebrated their first of eight, district-wide no homework days. These days were designed to give children a break from the daily grind and to give families an opportunity to have a day off. But, it is parents who also get a break from the nagging and unpleasantness that homework can provide. I think the most important aspect this first no homework day was that it put homework on the town-wide radar screen as something to think about. Homework is one of those sacred cows that is worth revisiting now and then to ask the important questions about it. …

The Penn State situation arouses every parent’s worst fears. While many parents set all sorts of guidelines and arm their children with cell phones to protect against strangers and abductors, the more common threat is always from a person they know. Are we adequately preparing our children for that? And, how do we do it, without scaring them away from the vast majority of wonderful adults in their lives? Jerry Sandusky, former defensive coordinator for the Penn State Nittany Lions, is accused of numerous counts of child molestation. Prosecutors allege that his charity, Second Mile, set up to …

I have three sons, which means I usually have five to 15 boys in my house. Anyone who lives with boys knows their competitive nature. While not usually competing over the size of their GPA’s, they are fond of comparing the size of their biceps, rate of facial hair growth and the amount of hot sauce one can possibly stand. Many years ago, when mine were babies, I attended a lecture on raising boys. The speaker, Dr. Eli Newberger, said that when men walk into a room, they size up the competition immediately. They decide who they can “take” and who can take them. That sounded interesting to me …

County prosecutors in New York are investigating the depth of a cheating scandal on the SAT’s. On its face, the investigation concerns allegations that students paid a 19-year-old between $1,500 and $2,500 to take the test for them. They registered at high schools other than their own and the imposter, using a fake ID, rewarded them with scores between 2100 and 2250 out of a possible 2400. This investigation has that “tip of the iceberg” feel. Already it has spread to three other New York high schools and cast an unpleasant light on the Educational Testing Service, the private company that …

I know there are many fit moms out there who hit the gym the minute the kids are tucked safely at school. And, there are some who immediately think to go for a run the minute they get a 20-minute window of opportunity. There are others who take their children with them on runs and bike rides as soon as they are able, creating wonderful lifelong family habits and hobbies. Then, there are the rest of us, who never run or exercise and would use an unexpected 20 minutes to grab of a peaceful cup of coffee or catch up on Words with Friends. All moms are a little bit of each person at various …

As the world mourns the passing of Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, we laud him as a great American innovator. As we celebrate this life of accomplishment, of a person whose inventions and ideas affected every one of us, I find myself asking an important question. Would I as a parent support a child like Steve Jobs?  And, the corollary, does our educational system, from preschool through post-graduate education create people like him or just the opposite? These questions are related to each other because so much of what we preach as parents has to do with a model of success that might be …