Marblehead, We Have Advice For You
Each week, Marblehead Patch will post an advice column featuring questions from local residents. If you have a question, email them to us.
Every Sunday morning, Marblehead Patch gives you The Rough Patch. An advice column that accepts questions from Marblehead residents and offers tips on everything from relationships to parenting.
If you have a question you'd like our columnist to answer, feel free to email them in.
My daughter is just finishing up her freshman year at college and is coming home for the summer. She hasn't yet secured and internship or a summer job, and I am concerned. It seems like all of my friends' children are doing impressive and fabulous things during summer break and I'm worried my daughter will be "left behind". How should I approach her with my concerns?
Mommy Dearest in M-Head
Dear M. Dear:
I definitely understand your concerns, but to take a term from your daughter's lexicon, I think you need to "chillax" on this issue (the kids ARE still using this term, aren't they?). As I'm sure you've experienced, kids grow and develop at unique and different paces. You didn't mention this, but maybe your daughter had a really challenging first year at school and just couldn't fit planning a job/internship search into her curriculum. Or maybe she just needed to come home and get her bearings before trying to find something to do this summer? Or, maybe she just blew it off and isn't concerned about her summer resume?
If possible, try to engage her in a non-judgemental conversation about her summer plans, and offer to brainstorm with her. Jobs and internships are hard to get at the last minute, but there are many opportunities to engage in a summer of fun and enlightenment: taking up a new sport, creating a fun summer reading list that your whole family could read together, or taking art/music classes. But let's not forget the age-old summer pass-time of hanging out at the beach, texting/calling friends, and whiling away the hours with some precious down time before the rigors of school begin again.
A good friend of mine recently moved and gave me some vases and lamps that had been stored in her attic for decades. She knows I love antiques and was kind enough to think of me. The problem? I took two of the items to a friend of mine and had them appraised, and each is worth $2,000 at least! I haven't shared this information with my friend because I really love these pieces and want to keep them. Do I have a duty to tell her the appraised values?
Dear Ms. Pot:
In my opinion, you have no duty to report on your new-found booty. But I do think you should be honest with your friend about your findings. She may have been aware of the value of the pieces and gave them to you because she knew you'd truly enjoy them. But in any case, she handed over the items to you as a gift and you took possession of them free and clear. Being upfront and honest with her is the best advice I can give. Hearing about your appraisal from another friend may make her feel like you were trying to pull a fast one in the face of her generosity.